She was so close to my ear, her lips sometimes brushed up against it.
“Breathe…Breathe…Breathe…”
My midwife was calmly and steadily telling me to breathe.
For how long? I’m not sure.
I had no sense of time. I was too busy tensing up and holding my breath to somehow make the contractions less painful.
This unquestioningly felt like the right thing to do.
Hold on tight. Try to control the pain.
But of course, that wasn’t happening. The pain doubled down and stuck its tongue out at me.
Daring me to try and squeeze it into oblivion.
And then somehow, I finally heeded the message my midwife was patiently delivering.
I stopped clenching and hoarding the air in my lungs.
I let go.
And because I was no longer focused on trying to control the pain, I could breathe with purpose.
The pain didn’t go away but it was so much more manageable.
I couldn’t believe it. Letting go worked!
It felt so counterintuitive and yet I was living the proof.
My daughter was born 6 hours later and I now tell her that having her was a piece of cake.
Ha! Not so much. But it was definitely less intense than it could have been.
I come back to this experience a lot.
To remind myself that letting go of the tight hold I’m trying to keep on something is hindering my progress and making it more difficult than it needs to be.
Whether or not you have ‘control issues’, you are more than likely working to stay in control of your business by holding on tight to almost everything you do in it.
After all, when you control everything, there will be fewer surprises right?
But the truth is that you can’t maintain control and grow at the same time.
“Unfortunately, growth and control work inversely. The more growth you desire, the less control you can have (and vice versa).”
~ Keith J. Cunningham in his book The Road Less Stupid
Put another way, growth means letting go. Consistently.
I recently shared this quote with my client as we were discussing what she could delegate. And a few days later she’s already let go of a high-profile activity in her business that someone else can do just as well, if not better. Love it!
What if you could let go of some things to give yourself some breathing room?
There’s all kinds of stuff that might be limiting your growth, stuff like:
- Hanging onto an idea you’ve been trying to make work but isn’t
- Spending too much time searching for the perfect software
- Focusing on metrics that you have little control over (Oh hello likes, follows, unsubscribes…)
- Talking to way more people than necessary before making a decision you already knew
- Waiting to hire help until you have a certain amount of revenue
- Staying up late to organize your files
Basically, anything you tell yourself will help you make space for growth.
It’s a vicious cycle of “once I do this or get these results, I’ll be able to focus on the high-impact activities only I can do.”
You’re trying to control the anticipated pain of things going wrong.
The tighter your grip, the less energy you have to do what matters.
What’s something you could let go of this week?
It might feel counterintuitive but when you do it, you might find that you can finally breathe.