My 6-month-old son screamed as blood streamed down his face.
He had recently started to crawl and was following me around the living room as I was cleaning.
As I dusted the fireplace mantle, I went to move the clock that sat on the shelf, lost my grip and it slipped off and crashed onto the brick hearth below. The thick glass covering the clock face shattering into a million small pieces.
My newly mobile baby was inches away from where the clock landed.
Seeing the blood, I realized that any number of those sharp glass pieces could be embedded in his skin – anywhere on his body.
I quickly picked him up under the arms, comforting him with as much of a soothing tone as I could muster and headed to the bathroom.
I sat him down on the floor beside the tub while I ran the water and delicately took off his clothes. Then I got us both into the bath.
Somehow I felt the best way to see where he might be cut or to dislodge any small pieces of glass was to gently run water over him.
Luckily, the only cut he had was about a centimetre over his left eye. I remember thinking, thank god the glass didn’t hit his eye!
After I was sure there were no other cuts, we got out of the bath and I called my friend who lived close by to drive us to the hospital.
My poor boy had to get 3 stitches. But an hour after we got home he was back to his cheerful self.
Once I had time to reflect on the incident, I was surprised at my quick thinking and at how I figured out what to do in the moment.
I didn’t have time to weigh my options or wonder what if.
All I could think about was the next thing I needed to do and do it.
My brain was on high alert and nothing else mattered but the immediate situation I was facing.
When we’re anxious about a situation that isn’t urgent, we want to alleviate our anxiety but what action to take isn’t clear.
We have (too much) time to go over innumerable what-ifs and hows.
We overthink.
Overthinking is the brain’s way of managing our anxiety about something that isn’t immediately impacting us.
When you have days or weeks to prepare for an important talk or to promote a workshop, your brain has a lot of time to run amok with the ways things could go wrong. There’s a sense that then we can be better prepared.
Rather than reduce your anxiety, you end up feeling more anxious.
All these imagined things feel real and you’ve created a bigger monster.
We simply aren’t good predictors of how something will transpire in reality. There are way too many variables and unknowns.
We are much better at dealing with what’s in front of us.
The brain loves specificity. And the preciseness inherent in what’s happening right now makes a lot more sense to us.
While it’s hard to reign in your slippery brain, it’s good to remind yourself that trying to solve a problem that hasn’t yet happened (and may never happen) is not only overthinking, it’s magical thinking.
When the what-ifs show up do your best to notice as they surface and let them know, “thanks for trying to look out for me but I got this.”
Easier said than done but it’s a practice that’s worth doing.