My daughter and I are going on university campus tours this month.
She turns 17 this week and next year she’ll be off to university.
Leaving home, going to school in a different city, and living on your own for the first time are big life-changing events.
I worry that she’ll have a hard time adjusting.
When I went to university way back in the early 1990s, we graduated from high school in grade 13 (this was the case in Ontario from 1921 – 2003). We had this extra year to better prepare us for university.
In the end, there wasn’t really anything special about our last year in high school. However, we were a year older than the typical 4-year high school graduates. We had the benefit of a bit more maturity and experience.
I turned 19 in my first week at university. I was fiercely independent and very excited to live away from home but it was still very challenging and emotionally destabilizing.
My daughter won’t have that extra year in high school but there’s no reason she shouldn’t have more time before she makes these big changes. She doesn’t have to go to university next year if it feels like too much.
The other night, we were having our nightly snuggle in her bed talking about how our lives will change after she graduates.
I reminded her that taking time off from school is always an option.
She said something that surprised me a bit.
“I’m not sure what I would do if I weren’t in school. I don’t want to just get a job and waffle about.”
She worries that without structure and goals, her time away from school won’t be meaningful and fulfilling.
I love that she’s thinking about it this way.
We’re so lucky to be able to design our lives but figuring out how to make the most of that opportunity can be challenging.
One of the main reasons most people start their own business is to be able to call the shots.
You want to be the master of your time.
You want to be able to take time off when it suits you.
While many coaches and programs tout this time freedom as one of the results of building a business, we don’t usually talk about why it matters.
What do you want from your free time?
The idea of unstructured time where you can do whatever you want is appealing. After all, there are always errands to do, people to see, and places to go so you’ll always have something to fill that time…or to do nothing at all if you choose to.
But have you stopped to determine what matters most to you about that non-work time?
Are your answers the honest-to-goodness truth of what’s good for you?
Ask yourself if you’re trying to please someone else.
Ask yourself if you’re looking to get rid of some of your guilt.
Ask yourself if you’re only choosing things that are deemed appropriate by the rest of the world.
Our time is limited.
It may feel less freeing to add some structure to your free time but setting clear intentions and goals for how you spend it will help make it more meaningful.